You Know It's True

The Slow-Mo is AWESOME!

Thanks to Britt for sharing this one.

Heeelllloooooooo!!!!!

First of all, I would like to say that I love this song. But the music video-- Let's just say it's special.
So I don't know if you'd find this funny, but there's something here that just makes me giggle. I'm not exactly sure what it is. It's just awkward maybe. I dunno. What do you think?

Har, har, har

Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye. The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: "Dear, Breakfast is ready. I've gone shopping to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!"
He stumbles to the kitchen, and sure enough, there's breakfast. "Joe," he says to his son, "what happened last night?"
"You came home soused and got that black eye tripping over a chair."
"So why the rose, breakfast, and sweet note from your mother?"
"Oh, that. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take off your clothes, you screamed, 'Leave me alone. I'm married!'"

Most 1 year olds are working on their "Please" and "Thank Yous," but not this kiddo

Status from a friend's Facebook...

Me: What's a fancy word for shiny?
E (22 months): Iridescent!

Note: My Child can say "fog!"

'Tis the Season to be Jolly

See www.danggoodjokes.com for more humor.

So Cold

Last week, Bucky and Sue had a big fight. Bucky couldn't see how Sue wouldn't see his point of view and decided to give her the cold shoulder until she did. Of course, Sue also couldn't see why Bucky refused to see her point of view and so she decided to do the same until her husband gave in.

This went on for several days. However, Bucky had a big business trip coming up and it was important that he not oversleep and miss his flight. The night before his flight he left a note for Sue: "Please wake me up at 5 am." Then he went early to bed.

The next morning Bucky woke up and to his horror his clock said "9:30." He had missed his flight. He raced downstairs and found the note he had left for Sue. Under his message was Sue's handwriting: "It's 5 am. Wake up."

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree! How lovely are thy... antennas?

courtesy: Reader's Digest

It reminded me of this:

It may look like a saguaro, but don't be fooled! I saw one of these for the first time last month. You may not be able to tell from the photo, but this thing is a giant! It towers like Goliath over all the real saguaros. Just another hideous cell tower. I actually think the Christmas Tree thing might be a good idea. It might possibly be able to pull off that disguise!

Note: I spelled antennas correctly. See below.

an·ten·na
(n-tn)
n. pl. an·ten·nae (-tn)
1.
a. Zoology One of the paired, flexible, segmented sensory appendages on the head of an insect, myriapod, or crustacean functioning primarily as an organ of touch.
b. Something likened to this sensory appendage, as in function or form: sensitive public relations antennae.
2. pl. an·ten·nas A metallic apparatus for sending or receiving electromagnetic waves.

I'm Lovin' It

A favorite of mine....

A Frenchman walks into a McDonalds and orders a glass of wine.

The man behind him in line laughs at him. "You're ordering wine at McDonalds!?" he asks.

The Frenchman looks at him and replies, "What? You're actually here for the food?

The Man on the Flying Trapeze

This is a story someone sent me a long time ago. Though I can't remember who did send it to me, I'll never forget this story.

Edna and Wayne were an elderly couple that loved to go to the annual State Fair. Wayne wanted to ride the helicopter that was there every year. However, the helicopter ride was $50.
"Gee, I'd sure love to ride that helicopter," Wayne would say.
Edna would then see the sign that says "$50 to ride" and would reply. "Well, 50 dollars is 50 dollars." (That was her way of saying "I don't think so, Wayne.") So they would go on and see the free attractions instead.
Year after year Wayne would see that helicopter and comment "I'd love to ride that helicopter!" Year after year Edna would reply by saying, "50 dollars is 50 dollars."
This last year when Edna and Wayne went to the State Fair, Wayne again looked misty eyed at the helicopter and said "Gee, I'd love to ride that helicopter." Again came the "50 dollars is 50 dollars" from Edna. But this time, the helicopter pilot happened to over hear their conversation.
"Folks," said the pilot, "I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up in my helicopter and if you don't make a sound the entire ride, I won't charge you a cent!"
Edna and Wayne agreed. The three of them went up in the helicopter. The pilot thought, "I'm gonna see if I can make them make a noise," so he did every trick he knew. The helicopter went upside-down, sideways, in circles and made dives, but there was no cries or shrieks coming from the passengers. When he landed the helicopter fifteen minutes later, he called back to his passengers, "I really thought I could make you call out, but I was wrong!"
Wayne replied, "Well, I almost did yell when Edna fell out, but you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

FoxTrot Spooky

To enlarge it, just click on comic strip.











I hope that George Lucas is not planning to "rerelease all six 'Star Wars' films in retrofitted 3-D." In reality, I'm really hoping that when Lucas has died some kid-director is going to remake those Embarrassment-To-Any-True-Star-Wars-Fan-Episodes-1-2-And-3. I'm counting on that day when it will be cool again to be a Star Wars fan.

Monty Python's Funniest Joke in the World

I first saw this in my Spanish 325 class and have loved it ever since.