Competitive Nicole

Here is a story my quirky friend, Nicole, told me (and gave me permission to share). You will probably hear more about her in the future. Here is the incident from her own words.


So Magrethe, Maren, and Maren's boyfriend Luke and I went to the pet store to buy some fish for our place this week. We spent a blissful hour at the store and came out with two fish. I remembered at this time that Margrethe and I were in dire need of toilet paper. So we swung by the grocery store. We realized we had a dilemma because the directions said you should take the fish straight home and keep the temperature of the water around 70 degrees. So Margrethe and I decided to to see how fast we could get through the grocery store while Luke and Maren stayed in the car. We sprinted the parking lot and were able to get the toilet paper and pay in absolutely no time. I of course get excited when there is competition and especially when I am being timed. So in my excitement I sprinted as fast as I could to the car opened up the back door, jumped in and yelled,"TIME, how fast was I?." Then to my amazement I man with a long ponytail turned around and calmly told me that he thought I was in the wrong car. I freaked of course at this point, and jumped out of the car like my pants were on fire. But I started laughing outside his door and couldn't stand up straight and close his door for a moment because I was laughing so hard. This added to the awkwardness. I realized that Luke's blue car was two down. I also at this time noticed how many people in the parking lot were staring at me. It was the most hilarious embarrassing thing ever. So the moral to the story is: be careful to look when your sprinting and don't let your excitement cloud your other more important cognitive skills.

"The rain came down, and the floods came up..."

A lovely joke I heard at Dave's graduation in 2008. Astronaut Frank Borman, the speaker at the graduation, told this story....

There was a man who survived the flood of 1889 in Johnstown, Pennsylvania. The remainder of his life, he talked about how he survived the Johnstown flood of 1889. He would travel to different cities and different universities and tell the same story of how he survived That Flood of 1889.

One day, this man died. When he reached the pearly gates of Heaven, Peter informed him that before he passes the white gates, he'll have to talk about his life's achievement in front of a large group of people. The man said, "Oh, that's easy. I'll just talk about how I survived the 1889 flood." Peter responded, "Well, that's fine. Just keep in mind that Noah will be in the audience."

How Punny!

The hi-lights of a pun email my dad sent me.

• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

• I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
  Then it hit me.

• A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.